GUESS ME WEIGHT ƒ  D A G I bet my mates I could get a date with a girl called Edna Gratton She walked in the place, said she liked my face- It was one she hadn't sat on I said: 'I hope you're insured if you want me pork sword, Its what comes when I sup Boddingtons, if you want a quick fiddle, Its wrapped round me middle, and in a warehouse down in Warrington Sit on me face, I'll guess your weight.' They drip with fear when they see my beef spear Come busting (combusting) out of me flies When I've supped me ale, they get impaled, they just can't take its size Lying in this fucking field, outside Duckinfield, Her knickers wet and sloppy I was going to take her, when her cunt said: 'Breaker, breaker, anyone for a copy?' I fumbled past the boils, dug out a rusty coil, I could have been scarred for life It lay there rusting, I said it smelled disgusting, She said: 'Its Chanel No 5.' (channel number five) ©1987 The Macc Lads TRACK CHAT HORRID HUNDRED