PIETASTER ƒ F G C She had just turned twenty nine ... (needed a good ironing) Smelling like a tench ... (face looked like a welder's bench) Her tights were baggy at the rear ... (she could fart for Lancashire) She said she liked the taste of my bell-end cheddar And she asked me if I wanted to bed her. She was desperate for a fuck ... (said her cunt was healing up) Piles and NSU ... (creepy crawlies in her pubes) Dribbling out of her womb ... (more semen (seamen) than the QE2) I've never been to bed with an ugly woman But I've woken up with one or two (Stretch marks on her bum, tasted pies for Titterton's) ©1988 The Macc Lads N.B.- Titterton's = local pie manufacturers and retailers. N.S.U. =Non-specific uthritis (VD to you and I, but 'VD' doesn't rhyme with 'pubes') TRACK CHAT HORRID HUNDRED